Seven months!

Good grief, I can't believe I haven't written to you for seven months! Do you think it is because you have been behaving yourself? Well, hardly. Although the headline figures look good they're hiding all the ups and downs you've been putting me through. It seems every time I decide to get off my behind and start doing regular exercise it really wakes you up and just the mention of insulin sets my levels plummeting! A few weeks ago I had 25 hypos in a fortnight and my 14-day average on my meter was 5.0 mmol/l! And that's including all my post-meal readings too! Now that I've had a few days off to try and get my levels back to somewhere reasonable my 7 day average has shot up to 7.7! I even had a 13.3 last night and had to give a correction! Why can't you just use the insulin you need and then pee the rest away?

Anyway, I'm off to meet loads of people tomorrow who know you pretty well and don't be surprised if we all thumb our noses in unison  - yes, we'll be doing it to YOU!!!!

You really do put up a fight in the mornings, don't you? Six units for 12g carbs yesterday, and it still wasn't quite enough to get you under control! One unit for two grams carbs! And yet you go all meek and submissive later - one unit for eight grams! That's 75% less! And you're practically AWOL in the evenings - one unit for twelve grams! How can this be? Do I have 'morning diabetes' or something? Do you get bored as the day goes on? How would it be if I stayed in bed until the afternoon? Might have to test you out one lazy day...

Well, you seem to be happy enough on that lantus dose, but you took your time deciding! You've got me all jittery at night though, after those hypos - now if I wake I HAVE to test just to make sure I'm going to survive the night! Last night was really annoying - I bet you knew that my bedside meter's batteries were running low, didn't you? All that messing about getting up and going downstairs to get the other meter, and then I was 5.0...hahaha! Most amusing, I don't think!

Now, what's all this business with needing lots more insulin for breakfast than any other time of the day? How come I can have one slice of toast in the morning and need 6 or 7 units, but by lunchtime I can eat three times as much for practically the same dose? How come you're so resistant to insulin in the morning? Or is my liver always particularly active at that time? How am I supposed to know? I don't suppose it really matters, but when you have me convinced that I need lower doses for all my meals EXCEPT breakfast it's very confusing and unfair of you.

It seems that we are reading from different editions of the blood sugar management book, am I right? Or yours is in some kind of language that you;ve not quite got the hang of yet? Look, this is how it's supposed to go: I cut back on the lantus, I eat toast and jam before bed, you behave. Simple, straightforward, where's the difficulty? Why then, did I wake again and test at 2.7 mmol/l? I'm waiting...! No answer eh? Gone all sheepish? You think I don't know what you're up to , don't you? You've been hanging around my pancreas like a lovesick puppy, stimulating those beta cells to somehow start up again whilst I sleep!

Ha! I got you last night though, didn't I? You just can't overcome peanut butter sandwiches can you? Especially when I team it up with another lantus reduction! That 4.4 at 3:30am was a bit feeble - all that lovely fat slowed the glucose right down and spread it way beyond my liver low! I must admit though, you've still got me a bit jittery about tonight. I've been reducing my meal boluses right back, and I'm still only at 4.7 before bed. Might have made a bit of a mistake with the jam on toast, but I wanted something sweet and I'm starting to get a bit tired of peanuts. We'll see...

What's the matter with you? You couldn't sleep, so you thought I shouldn't too, eh? Well, I appreciate you probably wanted a bit of company, but you've got me all through the day, couldn't you just do a bit of quiet contemplation by yourself for a few hours each night? Have to admit, I quite enjoyed those jelly babies and biscuits you persuaded me to eat, but really I'm getting too old for midnight (or 2 am) feasts - I need my beauty sleep! At least you didn't make me feel like I'd been banging my head against a brick wall all night, and I suppose if you hadn't woken me up then well...I might not have woken up...

Did you have to wait until I dropped to 2.1 though? You know how hungry that makes me - a 3.9 would have been just fine (if you had to wake me at all). Just don't make a habit of it, OK? I'll cut down your lantus tonight so it doesn't disturb you quite so much, but don't think that's an excuse to go pushing my levels high in the morning - I'm wise to your tricks! Well, most of them. I wish you weren't so inventive and creative. I know a lot of people call you stupid, but you've caught me out many a time with your little plots and schemes. And no - a 'glucose excursion' is NOT the same as a nice day trip to the seaside!